Customer Service Survey
On a certain disgruntled employee's blog recently a customer service survey was released for disgruntled employee's. I whole heartedly took up the opputunity to bitch and here are my most educated and well thought answers.
1. On average, how many customers out of every 10 do you find a pleasure to serve?
I would have to say maybe 3 out of ten.
2. Do you feel that customers view, and treat you as a person?
No, they expect me to be their personal rubbish bin, bag carrier as well as personal shoppers.
3. Out of every 10 complaints you receive, on average, how many are actually pertaining to you, and/or your business? And how many are just completely random things that are obviously not within your powers of control?
Well usually it is about 5 out of 10 because our the dickhead manager will never order the right amount of stock so we run out of everything in about two days. Once I actually got a lady yelling at me because the raspberries were too red, yeah apparently they were 'too' ripe.
4. Old people, bogans, drunks, children, dole bludgers, and psychos. Which of these do you mostly have to deal with? And on a scale of 1-10, how irritatingly difficult are they?
Old people – 8 (We live right next to an old people's nursing home so I couldn't count the number of times I have had to have inane conversations I have had to have while the queue is three foot deep.)Bogans – 5(They always smell like absolute shit which makes me want to throw up, you know that “I haven’t washed in about three days and don’t plan to” kind of smellDrunks – 2 (At work I really don’t get many of these and when I do they usually are nice. Then again I don’t work in Liquor)Children – 4 (The most annoying are the little toddlers who have screaming tantrums because they can’t get chewy or something ridiculous like that)Dole bludgers – N/A (My supermarket personage is filled with Brighton women with a blonde bob haircut as well as solarium ruined skin)Psychos – 7 (Once I had a guy come in who we called the police on because he walked around the aisles for about 20 minutes. When asked if he needs any help he replies in a high girly voice, “I am exercising my right as a customer to browse the shop’s products to decide whether to purchase or not”. When the police got there he then pretended to shop before ‘exercising his rights as a shopper’ to not buy a lemon or some shit like that.
5. In order of annoyance:
1. People who take bags they don't need. (Once I had an old hag come in demanding a whole pile of bags because they were going on holiday. I politely pointed her to the rubbish bin liners a couple metres away)
2. Old people who demand discounts and special treatment. (Yeah as well as the ones who peruse the specials like it is do or die, that 50c will make a huge difference!
3. Wankers who waste your time deciding when there are 5 people waiting to be served. (especially at the cigarette counter where you have to stop serving your queue)
4. People who don't have enough money for their purchase.
5. Screaming kids.
6. Bogans who feel the need to yell at you for events that don't concern you.
6. Most regularly occurring stupid question you've ever had?
Do you have any cold drinks? (the drinks fridge is right behind them)
7. Most regularly occurring stupid complaint you've ever had?
You know you don’t have many cheese options, you really should have more. (We aren’t a gourmet deli, stupid tools)
8. Biggest peeve about your job (involving a customer of course)?
People thinking I know everything about the supermarket…….the food, flowers, cigarettes, deli ingredients or the location or everything.
9. What's the most you've done for a customer, only to have it thrown back in your face?
A lady who had just had a hip replacement reached to get cigarettes (if she had been patient I would have got them because I am the one who is supposed to get them, not her) and when she came back down she accidentally stepped on one of the newspaper bundles we keep on the floor. The drink fridges were being refilled and so the trolley was there with all the drinks. She was about to fall severely on the trolley so I moved it out of her way. When she came back down she had dislocated her hip again. The paramedics had to come and collect her etc. etc which was exciting but when explaining what happened she enthusiastically explained to the paramedics that a horrible young girl had hit her with a trolley. I then got blamed for the whole thing and my boss used me as the scapegoat. Apparently she spent two months in hospital getting better. Serves her right, the stupid bitch.
10. Most hated customer? (Give us details of the experience.)
Well it is more the certain breed 50 year old women who is extremely tight with their money, demands the receipt and breathe their fucking Horizon cigarette smoke breath all over me. Oh and did I mention they blame every single price mistake on me?
1. On average, how many customers out of every 10 do you find a pleasure to serve?
I would have to say maybe 3 out of ten.
2. Do you feel that customers view, and treat you as a person?
No, they expect me to be their personal rubbish bin, bag carrier as well as personal shoppers.
3. Out of every 10 complaints you receive, on average, how many are actually pertaining to you, and/or your business? And how many are just completely random things that are obviously not within your powers of control?
Well usually it is about 5 out of 10 because our the dickhead manager will never order the right amount of stock so we run out of everything in about two days. Once I actually got a lady yelling at me because the raspberries were too red, yeah apparently they were 'too' ripe.
4. Old people, bogans, drunks, children, dole bludgers, and psychos. Which of these do you mostly have to deal with? And on a scale of 1-10, how irritatingly difficult are they?
Old people – 8 (We live right next to an old people's nursing home so I couldn't count the number of times I have had to have inane conversations I have had to have while the queue is three foot deep.)Bogans – 5(They always smell like absolute shit which makes me want to throw up, you know that “I haven’t washed in about three days and don’t plan to” kind of smellDrunks – 2 (At work I really don’t get many of these and when I do they usually are nice. Then again I don’t work in Liquor)Children – 4 (The most annoying are the little toddlers who have screaming tantrums because they can’t get chewy or something ridiculous like that)Dole bludgers – N/A (My supermarket personage is filled with Brighton women with a blonde bob haircut as well as solarium ruined skin)Psychos – 7 (Once I had a guy come in who we called the police on because he walked around the aisles for about 20 minutes. When asked if he needs any help he replies in a high girly voice, “I am exercising my right as a customer to browse the shop’s products to decide whether to purchase or not”. When the police got there he then pretended to shop before ‘exercising his rights as a shopper’ to not buy a lemon or some shit like that.
5. In order of annoyance:
1. People who take bags they don't need. (Once I had an old hag come in demanding a whole pile of bags because they were going on holiday. I politely pointed her to the rubbish bin liners a couple metres away)
2. Old people who demand discounts and special treatment. (Yeah as well as the ones who peruse the specials like it is do or die, that 50c will make a huge difference!
3. Wankers who waste your time deciding when there are 5 people waiting to be served. (especially at the cigarette counter where you have to stop serving your queue)
4. People who don't have enough money for their purchase.
5. Screaming kids.
6. Bogans who feel the need to yell at you for events that don't concern you.
6. Most regularly occurring stupid question you've ever had?
Do you have any cold drinks? (the drinks fridge is right behind them)
7. Most regularly occurring stupid complaint you've ever had?
You know you don’t have many cheese options, you really should have more. (We aren’t a gourmet deli, stupid tools)
8. Biggest peeve about your job (involving a customer of course)?
People thinking I know everything about the supermarket…….the food, flowers, cigarettes, deli ingredients or the location or everything.
9. What's the most you've done for a customer, only to have it thrown back in your face?
A lady who had just had a hip replacement reached to get cigarettes (if she had been patient I would have got them because I am the one who is supposed to get them, not her) and when she came back down she accidentally stepped on one of the newspaper bundles we keep on the floor. The drink fridges were being refilled and so the trolley was there with all the drinks. She was about to fall severely on the trolley so I moved it out of her way. When she came back down she had dislocated her hip again. The paramedics had to come and collect her etc. etc which was exciting but when explaining what happened she enthusiastically explained to the paramedics that a horrible young girl had hit her with a trolley. I then got blamed for the whole thing and my boss used me as the scapegoat. Apparently she spent two months in hospital getting better. Serves her right, the stupid bitch.
10. Most hated customer? (Give us details of the experience.)
Well it is more the certain breed 50 year old women who is extremely tight with their money, demands the receipt and breathe their fucking Horizon cigarette smoke breath all over me. Oh and did I mention they blame every single price mistake on me?
posted by Society Toaster @ 5:09 PM
2 Comments:
At Thursday, November 24, 2005,
Ben said…
I used to simultaneously work in the deli at Safeway and the check-outs at Big W - I know EXACTLY how you feel.
Now I work in a coffee shop and a RSL - not so bad, old people aren't all bad.
At Friday, November 25, 2005,
Chikory said…
You know, they do that at our Woolies, too. (Running out of stock that is.)
We got the new auto stock thing in, and due to the strike we had at the distribution warehouses, we were running out of stuff pretty damn quick. Well, as we scan it orders another one. But the dumb ass Grocery manager was too stupid to see that we'd run out of our overfill, and were only ordering enough to cover each customer that bought the crap. Oy, I'm not explaining this too well.
Okay, so to speak. The customer bought the stuff, so it ordered another one. As far as the computer is concerned, it's replacing something and assuming that the bay is still full. But it's not, so we were just scraping by.
Head office had to come down and kick some ass to get the whole stocking problem sorted.
But it still doesn't stop people bitching when you have a replacment and have to do a refund instead of a quick exchange. Now that's a pain in the rectum.
~Chikory
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