The Society Toaster

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

ebay is ruining my life

why oh why was I introduced to ebay..................

It is officially ruining my life as I search hours upon hours for different things. Boxsets of tv shows, books, clothes, it's killing my soul...not to mention my bank account.

You see you can have paypal account that debits straight out of your account so it actually feels like no money at all. Worse than EFTPOS because you just click buttons! Not only that I can get ebay off my phone so i am constantly monitoring my bids just to make sure I am winning.

I have bought heaps of shit as well. For example I spent $20 on those Absolut ad posters (the ones where they incorperate the bottle into everything) I don't even know why I bought them I just did.

But remeber that Fluo beach perfume I was complaining about? Well an expat lives there so I now can get all the perfume I want......excellent.

No more washing away for me...just an eroding bank balance instead.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

lack of choice

Why the hell in the Golden Globes would all four Desperate Housewives get picked for Best Actress in Comedy/musical in a Television Series? The show is fucking convoluted and although entertaining is definitely not worthy for awards.....the supposed "main" character Susan (played by attention seeking whore Teri Hatcher), has the most boring storylines out of all of them and spends her whole screen time either:

a) Crying
b) Letting her daughter give her advice in one of those weird the daughter mother the mum kind of thing (eg. When was the last time you got laid Mom?)
c) Crying about Mike
d) Moaning like a stupid bitch or whinging about something

The show shits me to tears and all the fucking hype about it....Just give me a gun and shoot me now. No wonder the Weeds (What kind of name is Weeds for a television show anyway) girl won the award the other four were too fucking boring and couldn't seperate the shittiness between them.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Fluo Beach being washed away...

In Paris the best shop that ever lived is there called Sephora. Now many people probably associate this with the chain in America but no.....the French one is better in so many more ways than one. Anyway there is this eau de toilette that I bought from there called Fluo Beach and I am about to run out.....panic! I tried to order it from the French website but alas it only delivers to people in France!!!! NOOOOOOOOO! What am I going to do without my cocunut perfume!!!! Stupid American part of the website doesn't have it either....what is going wrong with this world.....my signature scent is going to leave me. Aarghhhhhhhhhhh!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Jockalicious

Just go there.

I won't try to explain the creamy textures and delicious flavours they have. Try the Hokey Pokey but don't let the name deter you.


That is all.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Customer Service Survey

On a certain disgruntled employee's blog recently a customer service survey was released for disgruntled employee's. I whole heartedly took up the opputunity to bitch and here are my most educated and well thought answers.

1. On average, how many customers out of every 10 do you find a pleasure to serve?
I would have to say maybe 3 out of ten.

2. Do you feel that customers view, and treat you as a person?
No, they expect me to be their personal rubbish bin, bag carrier as well as personal shoppers.

3. Out of every 10 complaints you receive, on average, how many are actually pertaining to you, and/or your business? And how many are just completely random things that are obviously not within your powers of control?
Well usually it is about 5 out of 10 because our the dickhead manager will never order the right amount of stock so we run out of everything in about two days. Once I actually got a lady yelling at me because the raspberries were too red, yeah apparently they were 'too' ripe.

4. Old people, bogans, drunks, children, dole bludgers, and psychos. Which of these do you mostly have to deal with? And on a scale of 1-10, how irritatingly difficult are they?
Old people – 8 (We live right next to an old people's nursing home so I couldn't count the number of times I have had to have inane conversations I have had to have while the queue is three foot deep.)Bogans – 5(They always smell like absolute shit which makes me want to throw up, you know that “I haven’t washed in about three days and don’t plan to” kind of smellDrunks – 2 (At work I really don’t get many of these and when I do they usually are nice. Then again I don’t work in Liquor)Children – 4 (The most annoying are the little toddlers who have screaming tantrums because they can’t get chewy or something ridiculous like that)Dole bludgers – N/A (My supermarket personage is filled with Brighton women with a blonde bob haircut as well as solarium ruined skin)Psychos – 7 (Once I had a guy come in who we called the police on because he walked around the aisles for about 20 minutes. When asked if he needs any help he replies in a high girly voice, “I am exercising my right as a customer to browse the shop’s products to decide whether to purchase or not”. When the police got there he then pretended to shop before ‘exercising his rights as a shopper’ to not buy a lemon or some shit like that.

5. In order of annoyance:
1. People who take bags they don't need. (Once I had an old hag come in demanding a whole pile of bags because they were going on holiday. I politely pointed her to the rubbish bin liners a couple metres away)
2. Old people who demand discounts and special treatment. (Yeah as well as the ones who peruse the specials like it is do or die, that 50c will make a huge difference!
3. Wankers who waste your time deciding when there are 5 people waiting to be served. (especially at the cigarette counter where you have to stop serving your queue)
4. People who don't have enough money for their purchase.
5. Screaming kids.
6. Bogans who feel the need to yell at you for events that don't concern you.

6. Most regularly occurring stupid question you've ever had?
Do you have any cold drinks? (the drinks fridge is right behind them)


7. Most regularly occurring stupid complaint you've ever had?
You know you don’t have many cheese options, you really should have more. (We aren’t a gourmet deli, stupid tools)


8. Biggest peeve about your job (involving a customer of course)?
People thinking I know everything about the supermarket…….the food, flowers, cigarettes, deli ingredients or the location or everything.

9. What's the most you've done for a customer, only to have it thrown back in your face?
A lady who had just had a hip replacement reached to get cigarettes (if she had been patient I would have got them because I am the one who is supposed to get them, not her) and when she came back down she accidentally stepped on one of the newspaper bundles we keep on the floor. The drink fridges were being refilled and so the trolley was there with all the drinks. She was about to fall severely on the trolley so I moved it out of her way. When she came back down she had dislocated her hip again. The paramedics had to come and collect her etc. etc which was exciting but when explaining what happened she enthusiastically explained to the paramedics that a horrible young girl had hit her with a trolley. I then got blamed for the whole thing and my boss used me as the scapegoat. Apparently she spent two months in hospital getting better. Serves her right, the stupid bitch.


10. Most hated customer? (Give us details of the experience.)
Well it is more the certain breed 50 year old women who is extremely tight with their money, demands the receipt and breathe their fucking Horizon cigarette smoke breath all over me. Oh and did I mention they blame every single price mistake on me?

Monday, November 14, 2005

My life?!?

This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 7.8
Mind: 6.7
Body: 8.2
Spirit: 5
Friends/Family: 6.2
Love: 4.3
Finance: 7.6
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

It also suggests that because my body score is higher than usual I should give advice to people that score low. No offence to the Rate My Life organisation but I HATE exercise. I like to play tennis and other sports but I really, really hate anything to do with exercise especially running. I couldn't think of anything worse.

Everything is actually pretty accurate but what the fuck is the difference between mind and spirit? Aren't they the same thing anyways?

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Ready to toast again

Well I am back from quite an eventful trip in France. Don't really know if I will blog about it or not....probably will when I feel I have nothing to write about or not. Blogging about Europe seems to be a bit in fashion at the moment as Jellyfish and Adam were also in Europe while I was.

A brief intinerary included Paris for ten days or so while heading off to stay in Les Sables D'Olonne (think of a mix between St Kilda and Sandringham) with a detour through the Loire Valley. I stay there for two weeks or so before coming back to Paris for the last couple of days.

Yeah I have definetely decided I will write about some of the adventures in France and all the shithouse stuff they actually have there as well as the most fantastic places to go etc etc.

Tu as fait bon voyage? Oui, bien sur. (Sorry for all the non-frenchies, out there but it doesnt really mean anything important anyways)